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Health & Fitness

Pregnancy Pages: Let Me Give You A Piece Of Advice

What to do about strangers who stop you to tell you their opinion or experience? What's the funniest (or most offensive) piece of advice that you got while pregnant?

 

I swear, when I started this blog I did not intend for it to be all baby, all of the time.  However, this kid is sort of the only thing I have going on right now so you’re going to have suffer with me here.  I’ll resume normal life events in June.  Consider this fair warning. 

Anyway, once you get used to the idea of registering and essentially asking for gifts for a yet unnamed someone, you run into another issue: The well-meaning advice-givers.  They will pop up almost anywhere and make you doubt your parenting skills before you even get started.  You all know these people.  They are the same ones that will tell me to put socks on my baby in the middle of the summer.  They have cornered me in the restroom at work to ask how much weight I’ve gained and if I’m eating enough protein.  They are furious that I don’t think I will nurse the entire span of time from when the baby is born until s/he leaves for college.  They also say really helpful things like, “Oh, you picked that brand of [stroller/bottles/formula/EnterBabyItemHere]?  Well I’m sure it’s fine but I’ve heard bad reviews.”  They are usually total strangers but for the most part I never see them coming.  On behalf of first time moms everywhere, I’d like to say thank you for trying to be helpful, but please shut up.   And yes, I say shut up in my house.  I’ll put a quarter in the naughty jar. 

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It’s not that I’m not already coming up with questions and issues that I need help with.  It’s that I would prefer to ask people that I know and not rely on total strangers in the middle of the supermarket or on the train during rush hour for this information.     

You see, in our little group of family and friends, there are 16 of us expecting babies.  Let me clarify:  I don’t mean eight couples and eight babies-to-be. I mean 16 women currently carrying another human.  [Hi, girls!]  We have been SO lucky to have a built in support system with not only the seasoned parents in our lives, but we also have this crew of achy, pukey, sleepless, bloated friends and their husbands to call on for all sorts of help, support and sometimes just a distraction from all things baby.   I regularly text message one of my BFFs to ask her what I can and can’t eat.  Apparently, turkey sandwiches, prosciutto and goat cheese are no-no’s!  I text my cousin about ‘ohmygosh I just saw my toes.  Can we get a pedicure together ASAP?’  Another bestie gets the ‘I hate maternity clothes’ venting sessions.  I can go on and on…and I usually do… with my group.  I also have my parents and father in law to help me stay excited about this [somtimes seemingly very long] journey, my sisters-in-law and cousin to field the “is this normal” phone calls, and my friends who are already parents to watch and learn from—not to mention help me pick out the terrifying gear.

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It’s so nice to be able to share this experience with others and not totally freak out about every detail while also feeling alone.  Someone else who is very close to us is probably going through the same thing or they did at some point and that’s oddly comforting.  Patrick has the guys to talk to about how he’s feeling and I imagine sometimes discuss and compare how insane us girls are acting.

So please, well-meaning advice givers, if you see a pregnant lady who looks a little bit confused or bewildered—let me give you a little piece of advice—just let her just enjoy that moment.  She’s not looking for your diatribe about cloth diapers, daycare or even delivery.  She’s exhausted and probably thinking about getting a snack. Or maybe just enjoying the quiet while she can.

Tell me:  what’s the funniest or most offensive piece of “advice” someone ever gave you?  What was actually helpful?  Yes, I’m asking for it!  

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